Find Your Purpose in Life

You already know your purpose, so let's start with that good news first.

Chances are you've overlooked it, downplayed it, or assumed it had to be more impressive to qualify as a true purpose. You've probably been searching for what your purpose is, when it's been under your nose this whole time.

This nagging quest to find purpose is the most common obstacle people come to me for help with in life coaching sessions. Wondering what your purpose is can be frustrating, and it feels like your life has no meaning unless you know for sure why you’re here and where you fit in this chaotic puzzle. It's no wonder people tell me they feel stuck, because having this question on your mind prevents you from feeling contentment, joy, or fulfillment.

You might assume discovering your purpose will be a magical moment where you are filled with profound certainty that will lead the way. Maybe that’s the case for some people. Maybe their purpose in life is revealed with such clarity and conviction that there’s no denying it.

Some people feel it in their bones and their souls, and they live it without hesitation or having to ask themselves what their purpose is. For the rest of us, the discovery usually comes after years of self-doubt and comparison that distracts us from our true purpose.

Why does knowing your purpose even matter?

Knowing your purpose is like having a roadmap and lighthouse in life. It helps dictate our actions and reaffirm our decisions. If we know our purpose, we’re saying we know what will speak to our souls, put a fire in our belly, or, at the very least, help us live with fewer regrets if we build our life to uphold our purpose.

When we do the work to understand what makes us come alive, we navigate life differently and life starts to feel more meaningful. We start confidently moving towards things that light up our purpose or acting in a way that shows others who we are because we’ve taken the time to figure that out.

Take this example to illustrate my point: If you know you feel most alive when you are teaching kids, yet you took a job at an investment firm because it makes more money, you're going to feel stuck if you're not finding time in your life to illuminate your purpose. On the other hand, if you know your purpose and acknowledge it instead of ignoring it, your life will consist of decisions that support your purpose (even if it means less money).

The end result will be a life that feels fuller, and a soul that houses more peace.

Knowing your purpose takes you off autopilot and makes you the driver. If your destination is vague, you can’t possibly be in charge or excited about the trip. Purpose does not equal success or money. It’s the quiet, confident drum beat keeping time in the background of your days.

We often assume we don’t know what our purpose is, and we wonder if we’re living the right life or going down the right path. We wait for their big ah-ha moment, but most times the moments of realization are far less dramatic and come when we do something that makes us stand a little taller, relax into ourselves a bit more, and look outward rather than inward.

This zone of clarity is often called the flow state where you're performing at your best, time goes quickly, and you're so absorbed by the activity, you forget to get lost in your usual prison of self-consciousness or doubt.

When I create workshops and present them to people, I can barely stand still when I give the talks, and participants have moments of discovery because of something we're discussing. I start sweating, and I move my hands a lot and I jump with excitement when someone says something that I can tell is creating a shift in them.

When I was a kid, there's no way I could have predicted my purpose is to coach others to empower them to find their best version of themselves, but I've been pulling at the thread and being curious for years, and it's been revealed. (Side note: Purpose can evolve and shift, so always stay tuned and open to surprises.)

Purpose is the feeling that surfaces when you feel yourself elevated, tapping into everything you have without self-consciousness or ego. Your purpose lives in small everyday moments that you are ironically missing as you search for your purpose. It’s been right here the whole time because you have been here the whole time.

So, what is your purpose?

The easy answer is your purpose is to be your authentic self and share that with others every day because someone is waiting for that. You are the only YOU on this crazy planet, and your purpose is to show up, be seen, and see others.

But that answer is just the starting point. It’s your job to uncover who that is away from the noise, distractions, and influences of the world.

To be clear, we don’t need to shake the earth with our purpose. We don’t need to hit the streets and start companies or travel the world to tap into our purpose. We can be amazing gardeners, parents, musicians, and plumbers with the shared purpose to share our best selves with anyone we come in contact with.

Another way to think about your purpose is to list things you know fulfill you or come easily to you. And here’s the tricky part—we all want that answer to be impressive, glittery, and glamorous, but it doesn’t always live there.

Most times the feeling of being stuck comes when we know in our depths what our purpose is but we ignore it.

How do you find your purpose?

Think about times when you’ve been lit up this week. Off the top of my head, I’ve loved being in nature, finishing projects at work, helping talk my teen through the decision of picking a college, and creating a presentation for college students. None of this is amazing, but purpose is alive and kicking in each of those scenarios in how I tapped into life without hiding.

Purpose shows up when we don’t hide behind fear or put up walls.

The goal is to dig deeper into each day as you live it as your authentic self. Purpose and authenticity are one in the same. You can’t tap into your purpose if you’re not being who you are. You can pretend, but that will catch up with you.

You might find your purpose has a lot to do with your career. Maybe it has absolutely nothing to do with it—both are okay, as long as you're finding somewhere in your life to plug into your purpose. More importantly, it’s HOW you do your work. If, for example, you feel best when you make others laugh, you don’t have to be a stand-up comedian. You can bring that side of you to any job and serve others in that important way.

Another disclaimer: your purpose isn’t for you to always be happy. Knowing your purpose and following it means the real work has begun that will wake you up and challenge you. Being happy and comfy cozy is not the goal--the goal is to be alive and serve others with your gifts, not to remain on the sidelines, unscathed.

Knowing your purpose doesn't mean you're suddenly exempt from the hard work life asks of us, but knowing your purpose can make the work feel more sacred and invigorating.

Ask yourself today what you are ignoring. What part of you are you hiding because it’s easier or more convenient for you to numb or look away from?

Uncovering purpose can be a slow and steady journey, and, in fact, most often is. It starts when we take one step closer to something we feel in our guts is meant for us to tackle, but we're not sure of all the details. As we take these steps, the evidence reveals itself for the way we’re wired, but the work, curiosity, and open eyes have to be a part of the equation each day, and this is where most people check out because routine and comfort overrule.

Sometimes people will say, “Well, I’m only a…” and fill in the blank with their profession, dismissing their purpose as something that’s not needed. But hear this—your purpose is to bring your authentic self to your life’s work because there is only one you. I don’t care if you’re stocking shelves at a store or performing open heart surgery—bring yourself to others. THAT’s what’s impressive and gorgeous to see.

We’ve all seen people filled with confidence of knowing who they are, and that light is what we’re all craving. The shackles are off and they’re running on all cylinders. Your purpose is to tap into that to see how we can walk with each other.

If you’re having trouble putting words to your purpose, ask yourself what lights you up. What makes you feel most alive? When do you feel like you are most yourself and at ease during your week?

It could be when you are at work solving problems with your team and feeling satisfaction from the results. It could be the joy you feel when you make your kids lunch in the morning and take the time to write notes to each of them. Or maybe it’s how you make everyone in your friend group feel loved and welcome.

None of these examples are mind-blowing, but once we know our strengths, it gives us a confidence and permission to live life in that lane without feeling small or guilty that we should be doing something “bigger.” Being yourself is the biggest, most impressive thing to accomplish and will always create breadcrumbs that lead to the next step.

Over the years, our purpose might change as we change, so it’s important to keep checking in to see if the life we’re living is making sense with our soul. Is your purpose to serve others? To create delicious food for your community? To raise your kids as best you can? Is it to have fun and remind others to have fun, too?

There are no right or wrong answers, but I want you to listen for the answers. And again, you already know them. Your purpose might not come in one neat and tidy sentence. It might be a description of several things, but you have to pause and listen to let it be known to you.

Assignment for You

Sit in silence for 10 minutes and see what answers come to you. There’s no need to shake up your life and make big changes when you know your purpose, but knowing your purpose just might give you the confidence and permission to take a step toward living a life that feels more like your own.

Isn’t that what we all want when we reach the end of the road and look back?

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Interested in getting life coaching in Dayton, Ohio?

I work with adults from any walk of life who are ready to do the work to discover what they want and create a plan to make it happen. Contact me at rinerebecca@gmail.com, so we can schedule a time to chat to see if life coaching is right for you.