I Don't Want to Be Everything to Everyone

My goal for 2021 is to start being more like a dude.

It’s an unspoken understanding that females are the more loving, giving, and domestic gender, so things automatically defer to us at home, don’t they? We are also Olympic multi-taskers at work, while remembering when our kids’ dentist appointments are and to buy a gift for their teachers...all while making a grocery list in the margins of our notepad when we’re in a meeting.

We’re sort of wired to juggle it all, so we tend to do just that, at the cost of our sanity.

When men help around the house, I’ve heard women say, “Oh, I’m lucky because my husband helps around the house.” Is that lucky or exactly what marriage should look like? I have literally never heard a man say, “Oh, I’m lucky because my wife cooks and cares for our kids.” It’s just understood that, yes, duh, of course she does that. No extra credit or praise is dished out to us for things that seem to come “naturally” to our gender.

I’m one of the “lucky” ones who has a husband who divides household labor equally with me. I wouldn’t be married to someone who thinks it should all fall on me. The struggle comes when it just comes easily to me, so I take the ball and I run with it. And run. And run. And run, when I don’t really have to.

Yes, we’re rock stars who hold it all together, but what’s more impressive is when we can take a step back and breathe life into ourselves, so holding it all together isn’t so draining. We need time away from the juggling, but women generally struggle at having fun and letting